This weekend was our 18th wedding anniversary - we've been together for 20 years. "Wow" or you may say, "congratulations", "commiserations", etc etc etc have all gone through my mind.
As part of the "celebrations" we went to the theatre to see "When we are Married" A J.B. Priestly play which starred Roy Hudd, Maurine Lipman, Michelle Dotrice, Rosemary Ashe, Tom Shaw amongst others. The set was superb, the acting and stage craft brilliant. Just what you would expect from a play before it transfers to the West End.
Now, here's the rub... the play revolves around 3 couples who are celebrating their 25th Wedding Anniversary - however it arises that they may not be legally married. The implications are that, knowing there is a "get out of jail free" card clearly on the table......would they take it or stick with what they've got? During the course of the play various home truths come out and it appears that all 3 couples will cut and run....there is a final twist in the plot (which I won't reveal in case you want to see the play). The comedy is superb although at times a little dated, but anyone in a long term relationship will find a great deal of side splitting humour and some home truths in it.
Now we come to the gift..... back in September my hubby's best mate and his new girlfriend had been talking about troll beads and how lovely they are (this of course is a matter of taste, but it did seem to me that they were suggesting that hubby purchase some for me for the said anniversary). So, when the opportunity arose I showed him troll beads and stated that I didn't like them - fine on everyone else, but a case of definitely not for me (various reasons can ensue but one being that I know that if I was given a bracelet and troll bead it would stay like that for a very long time - a lonely bead on a huge bracelet that would just become irritating every time you write something or use your hand). A week before I reminded hubby - "don't get troll beads" - too late, the deed was done. Now of course there are troll beads and then there are troll beads - too much to go into at this time. So here we are - he knows I don't like troll beads yet he still gives said bracelet and lonely bead to me saying this is all he could afford (I've heard this so many times before and isn't true - he just doesn't want to spend anything as I'm clearly not worth much!). Now, I know that I should be grateful for the gift but the consequences are that i) it could sit in my jewellery box until I die, ii) it could be re-sold to re-coup the money that hubby so desperately needs, iii) if kept it will remind me for all eternity that I have a husband who clearly doesn't listen to me and hasn't done for 18 years - now girls, why would I want to wear something that visually reminds me of that every day when it is already a painful part of my daily life?
The issue is now that i) I know I am a fully fledged green bitch, ii) Hubby expects me to wear something which I don't like and didn't want, iii) I don't want to wear it.
So this is where the guilt comes in.....I am completely buried in it - at least 6 feet under. But why should I feel guilty - shouldn't he for putting me in this position?
Oh yes, the mature one's of you would say "talk it over" - I would if I had a grown up partner but he doesn't do talking about anything - period, so I have left it, along with the milk chocolates that he gave me (I only eat dark as milk makes me feel sick!), on his bed side table. I am the bitch from hell, it is confirmed. Could someone please just get me a door plaque with that on it?
However, the question still remains - is it really worth spending your life with someone who ignores you 95% of the time and has no interest in what you say or who you are, what you like and dislike, what has happened in your day, what makes you sad or happy?
Music for today will be equally moody - Boris Godonuv! Say no more. :-(
No comments:
Post a Comment