This weekend was our 18th wedding anniversary - we've been together for 20 years. "Wow" or you may say, "congratulations", "commiserations", etc etc etc have all gone through my mind.
As part of the "celebrations" we went to the theatre to see "When we are Married" A J.B. Priestly play which starred Roy Hudd, Maurine Lipman, Michelle Dotrice, Rosemary Ashe, Tom Shaw amongst others. The set was superb, the acting and stage craft brilliant. Just what you would expect from a play before it transfers to the West End.
Now, here's the rub... the play revolves around 3 couples who are celebrating their 25th Wedding Anniversary - however it arises that they may not be legally married. The implications are that, knowing there is a "get out of jail free" card clearly on the table......would they take it or stick with what they've got? During the course of the play various home truths come out and it appears that all 3 couples will cut and run....there is a final twist in the plot (which I won't reveal in case you want to see the play). The comedy is superb although at times a little dated, but anyone in a long term relationship will find a great deal of side splitting humour and some home truths in it.
Now we come to the gift..... back in September my hubby's best mate and his new girlfriend had been talking about troll beads and how lovely they are (this of course is a matter of taste, but it did seem to me that they were suggesting that hubby purchase some for me for the said anniversary). So, when the opportunity arose I showed him troll beads and stated that I didn't like them - fine on everyone else, but a case of definitely not for me (various reasons can ensue but one being that I know that if I was given a bracelet and troll bead it would stay like that for a very long time - a lonely bead on a huge bracelet that would just become irritating every time you write something or use your hand). A week before I reminded hubby - "don't get troll beads" - too late, the deed was done. Now of course there are troll beads and then there are troll beads - too much to go into at this time. So here we are - he knows I don't like troll beads yet he still gives said bracelet and lonely bead to me saying this is all he could afford (I've heard this so many times before and isn't true - he just doesn't want to spend anything as I'm clearly not worth much!). Now, I know that I should be grateful for the gift but the consequences are that i) it could sit in my jewellery box until I die, ii) it could be re-sold to re-coup the money that hubby so desperately needs, iii) if kept it will remind me for all eternity that I have a husband who clearly doesn't listen to me and hasn't done for 18 years - now girls, why would I want to wear something that visually reminds me of that every day when it is already a painful part of my daily life?
The issue is now that i) I know I am a fully fledged green bitch, ii) Hubby expects me to wear something which I don't like and didn't want, iii) I don't want to wear it.
So this is where the guilt comes in.....I am completely buried in it - at least 6 feet under. But why should I feel guilty - shouldn't he for putting me in this position?
Oh yes, the mature one's of you would say "talk it over" - I would if I had a grown up partner but he doesn't do talking about anything - period, so I have left it, along with the milk chocolates that he gave me (I only eat dark as milk makes me feel sick!), on his bed side table. I am the bitch from hell, it is confirmed. Could someone please just get me a door plaque with that on it?
However, the question still remains - is it really worth spending your life with someone who ignores you 95% of the time and has no interest in what you say or who you are, what you like and dislike, what has happened in your day, what makes you sad or happy?
Music for today will be equally moody - Boris Godonuv! Say no more. :-(
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
A Play, A Gift and Guilt
This weekend was our 18th wedding anniversary - we've been together for 20 years. "Wow" or you may say, "congratulations", "commiserations", etc etc etc have all gone through my mind.
As part of the "celebrations" we went to the theatre to see "When we are Married" A J.B. Priestly play which starred Roy Hudd, Maurine Lipman, Michelle Dotrice, Rosemary Ashe, Tom Shaw amongst others. The set was superb, the acting and stage craft brilliant. Just what you would expect from a play before it transfers to the West End.
Now, here's the rub... the play revolves around 3 couples who are celebrating their 25th Wedding Anniversary - however it arises that they may not be legally married. The implications are that, knowing there is a "get out of jail free" card clearly on the table......would they take it or stick with what they've got? During the course of the play various home truths come out and it appears that all 3 couples will cut and run....there is a final twist in the plot (which I won't reveal in case you want to see the play). The comedy is superb although at times a little dated, but anyone in a long term relationship will find a great deal of side splitting humour and some home truths in it.
Now we come to the gift..... back in September my hubby's best mate and his new girlfriend had been talking about troll beads and how lovely they are (this of course is a matter of taste, but it did seem to me that they were suggesting that hubby purchase some for me for the said anniversary). So, when the opportunity arose I showed him troll beads and stated that I didn't like them - fine on everyone else, but a case of definitely not for me (various reasons can ensue but one being that I know that if I was given a bracelet and troll bead it would stay like that for a very long time - a lonely bead on a huge bracelet that would just become irritating every time you write something or use your hand). A week before I reminded hubby - "don't get troll beads" - too late, the deed was done. Now of course there are troll beads and then there are troll beads - too much to go into at this time. So here we are - he knows I don't like troll beads yet he still gives said bracelet and lonely bead to me saying this is all he could afford (I've heard this so many times before and isn't true - he just doesn't want to spend anything as I'm clearly not worth much!). Now, I know that I should be grateful for the gift but the consequences are that i) it could sit in my jewellery box until I die, ii) it could be re-sold to re-coup the money that hubby so desperately needs, iii) if kept it will remind me for all eternity that I have a husband who clearly doesn't listen to me and hasn't done for 18 years - now girls, why would I want to wear something that visually reminds me of that every day when it is already a painful part of my daily life?
The issue is now that i) I know I am a fully fledged green bitch, ii) Hubby expects me to wear something which I don't like and didn't want, iii) I don't want to wear it.
So this is where the guilt comes in.....I am completely buried in it - at least 6 feet under. But why should I feel guilty - shouldn't he for putting me in this position?
Oh yes, the mature one's of you would say "talk it over" - I would if I had a grown up partner but he doesn't do talking about anything - period, so I have left it, along with the milk chocolates that he gave me (I only eat dark as milk makes me feel sick!), on his bed side table. I am the bitch from hell, it is confirmed. Could someone please just get me a door plaque with that on it?
However, the question still remains - is it really worth spending your life with someone who ignores you 95% of the time and has no interest in what you say or who you are, what you like and dislike, what has happened in your day, what makes you sad or happy?
Music for today will be equally moody - Boris Godonuv! Say no more. :-(
As part of the "celebrations" we went to the theatre to see "When we are Married" A J.B. Priestly play which starred Roy Hudd, Maurine Lipman, Michelle Dotrice, Rosemary Ashe, Tom Shaw amongst others. The set was superb, the acting and stage craft brilliant. Just what you would expect from a play before it transfers to the West End.
Now, here's the rub... the play revolves around 3 couples who are celebrating their 25th Wedding Anniversary - however it arises that they may not be legally married. The implications are that, knowing there is a "get out of jail free" card clearly on the table......would they take it or stick with what they've got? During the course of the play various home truths come out and it appears that all 3 couples will cut and run....there is a final twist in the plot (which I won't reveal in case you want to see the play). The comedy is superb although at times a little dated, but anyone in a long term relationship will find a great deal of side splitting humour and some home truths in it.
Now we come to the gift..... back in September my hubby's best mate and his new girlfriend had been talking about troll beads and how lovely they are (this of course is a matter of taste, but it did seem to me that they were suggesting that hubby purchase some for me for the said anniversary). So, when the opportunity arose I showed him troll beads and stated that I didn't like them - fine on everyone else, but a case of definitely not for me (various reasons can ensue but one being that I know that if I was given a bracelet and troll bead it would stay like that for a very long time - a lonely bead on a huge bracelet that would just become irritating every time you write something or use your hand). A week before I reminded hubby - "don't get troll beads" - too late, the deed was done. Now of course there are troll beads and then there are troll beads - too much to go into at this time. So here we are - he knows I don't like troll beads yet he still gives said bracelet and lonely bead to me saying this is all he could afford (I've heard this so many times before and isn't true - he just doesn't want to spend anything as I'm clearly not worth much!). Now, I know that I should be grateful for the gift but the consequences are that i) it could sit in my jewellery box until I die, ii) it could be re-sold to re-coup the money that hubby so desperately needs, iii) if kept it will remind me for all eternity that I have a husband who clearly doesn't listen to me and hasn't done for 18 years - now girls, why would I want to wear something that visually reminds me of that every day when it is already a painful part of my daily life?
The issue is now that i) I know I am a fully fledged green bitch, ii) Hubby expects me to wear something which I don't like and didn't want, iii) I don't want to wear it.
So this is where the guilt comes in.....I am completely buried in it - at least 6 feet under. But why should I feel guilty - shouldn't he for putting me in this position?
Oh yes, the mature one's of you would say "talk it over" - I would if I had a grown up partner but he doesn't do talking about anything - period, so I have left it, along with the milk chocolates that he gave me (I only eat dark as milk makes me feel sick!), on his bed side table. I am the bitch from hell, it is confirmed. Could someone please just get me a door plaque with that on it?
However, the question still remains - is it really worth spending your life with someone who ignores you 95% of the time and has no interest in what you say or who you are, what you like and dislike, what has happened in your day, what makes you sad or happy?
Music for today will be equally moody - Boris Godonuv! Say no more. :-(
Sunday, 10 October 2010
Mozart, The Lawn and a little black dress.
Problem - we have a 120 bar string quartet to compose by the end of term a la Mozart style. So I've got to start analysing one in particular - in D minor I think. It's too scary to look at at the moment as I'm deciding whether to do it in Sonata form or Theme and Variation format. I'll probably go for the sonata form as this will (I think!) be the easier option.
Today is a glorious autumnal/late summer day and so with that in mind and the need to do something that doesn't involve any thinking I mowed the lawn - that smell is so gorgeous it was worth the time it took (not that we have a huge lawn, just that it was long and wet!!!).
Yesterday I spent too much time in town and rashly purchased a 2 little black skirts (one cord the other some really heavy embroidered fabric) and then at about 4am this morning purchased on line the little black dress that I'd tried on - bang goes the birthday money that was tucked away for that thing I was going to do......
So not a thrilling time at the moment, and I shall probably regret having a near whole weekend off from Uni studies, but heh ho and a little black dress. :-) x x x
Today is a glorious autumnal/late summer day and so with that in mind and the need to do something that doesn't involve any thinking I mowed the lawn - that smell is so gorgeous it was worth the time it took (not that we have a huge lawn, just that it was long and wet!!!).
Yesterday I spent too much time in town and rashly purchased a 2 little black skirts (one cord the other some really heavy embroidered fabric) and then at about 4am this morning purchased on line the little black dress that I'd tried on - bang goes the birthday money that was tucked away for that thing I was going to do......
So not a thrilling time at the moment, and I shall probably regret having a near whole weekend off from Uni studies, but heh ho and a little black dress. :-) x x x
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
Mozart, Chocolate and a whisky
Second day back at Uni and I'm beginning to get to grips with the mountain of reading and work to be done this term and a huge amount of learning and questioning to be done too.
I'm not so good on the original thought so really want to get that going this term - challenging something new that you are reading and know little about is quite hard to start with, although I do find that if I don't like the style of the author then it's easier to do! Funny that!!!
So, I'm sitting here having eaten a whole bar of Divine 70% orange and ginger chocolate, with a whisky and contemplating the torture of a Mozart string quartet. I feel ill equipped to deal with the basic structural requirements to contemplate a 120 bar composition of this type (trust me I think that finding the melody will be easy in comparison to everything else that has to be done!). My personal goal is to achieve a good mark in a composition of this type - so far I seem to have done well on pure luck and a muddle through, but I really want to crack this one as it will be a basis for next years composition challenges.
The essays that I have to do are already invading my space and my mind is whirring with all the interesting things that I've already found out and the great tutorial I had on essay planning and writing. With luck my essay on Mendelssohn will be cracking. Music stage and screen will be more challenging, but of course in a good way.
Tomorrow is a day of reading books - various (and they're all really thick!) and trying to make notes using the Tony Buzan mind mapping thing. Should be interesting and colourful (as I have a new set of coloured pens especially purchased for the occasion).
Baking hasn't had a look in, but I did manage to clean the oven at the weekend so it is all shiny and waiting for inspiration to strike.
As we have apples a plenty I may well have to do something along those lines - but oat and raisin cookies are in the back of my mind and wanting to be baked......such therapy! Maybe I'll make a load for Uni for Monday.......
I'm not so good on the original thought so really want to get that going this term - challenging something new that you are reading and know little about is quite hard to start with, although I do find that if I don't like the style of the author then it's easier to do! Funny that!!!
So, I'm sitting here having eaten a whole bar of Divine 70% orange and ginger chocolate, with a whisky and contemplating the torture of a Mozart string quartet. I feel ill equipped to deal with the basic structural requirements to contemplate a 120 bar composition of this type (trust me I think that finding the melody will be easy in comparison to everything else that has to be done!). My personal goal is to achieve a good mark in a composition of this type - so far I seem to have done well on pure luck and a muddle through, but I really want to crack this one as it will be a basis for next years composition challenges.
The essays that I have to do are already invading my space and my mind is whirring with all the interesting things that I've already found out and the great tutorial I had on essay planning and writing. With luck my essay on Mendelssohn will be cracking. Music stage and screen will be more challenging, but of course in a good way.
Tomorrow is a day of reading books - various (and they're all really thick!) and trying to make notes using the Tony Buzan mind mapping thing. Should be interesting and colourful (as I have a new set of coloured pens especially purchased for the occasion).
Baking hasn't had a look in, but I did manage to clean the oven at the weekend so it is all shiny and waiting for inspiration to strike.
As we have apples a plenty I may well have to do something along those lines - but oat and raisin cookies are in the back of my mind and wanting to be baked......such therapy! Maybe I'll make a load for Uni for Monday.......
Friday, 1 October 2010
October and coffee
Just because it's October doesn't mean I'm allowed coffee for the first time this year - but it feels like it!
With next week comes the start of a new term at Uni. I have already been down to experience (yet again!) the complete incompetence of the admin staff (various) there and have been plagued with a barrage of "it's not come back from the printers yet and we don't know when it will be back" to "it's in the internal mail so should be there tomorrow" (despite the fact that it was promised 2 days before!!!). Such is academia and it is no wonder that our University system is groaning at the seams with cuts being made in all the places except the one's where they should be made..... rant over!
The wind is whipping round the house today and the rain is just in the air, no point in an umbrella today and even the cats don't want to go out. This leads me to music for the day - Mendelssohn - Fingals Cave seems appropriate but I will also listen to Elijah. There is much to do in terms of reading and prep for next week - and I feel that this will help calm the nerves a tad.
It's strange to think that a year ago I was embarking on this new whacky opt-out, mid-life crisis lifestyle of mine....It's been quite a year with friendships coming to an end (some quite dramatically - and people wonder why I love opera!) and a few illnesses along the way, some good times and some bad times and just some times....... as a person I'm more content in what I am doing and whilst I will bemoan the fact that I only got 72 instead of the idealised 84 I will try to appreciate the work that I do do and let that teach me where I can go and how I can progress. This is fairly much my life philosophy and the music and cake sustain me in this.
Apple crumble and Birds yellow custard is the food of the day - apples freshly picked (or just fallen) off the tree, crumble (already made and sitting in a box in the freezer) and custard in a sliceable form. For the un-initiated custard, in our household, comes in various forms - the really pale, runny, skinny, nerdy type of custard to the really thick, unctuous, bright yellow, here I am and you're going to love me, happy sliceable kind......today is definitely a day for the latter. Enjoy as I'm off to make my coffee (Monsooned Malabar - yumm!).
With next week comes the start of a new term at Uni. I have already been down to experience (yet again!) the complete incompetence of the admin staff (various) there and have been plagued with a barrage of "it's not come back from the printers yet and we don't know when it will be back" to "it's in the internal mail so should be there tomorrow" (despite the fact that it was promised 2 days before!!!). Such is academia and it is no wonder that our University system is groaning at the seams with cuts being made in all the places except the one's where they should be made..... rant over!
The wind is whipping round the house today and the rain is just in the air, no point in an umbrella today and even the cats don't want to go out. This leads me to music for the day - Mendelssohn - Fingals Cave seems appropriate but I will also listen to Elijah. There is much to do in terms of reading and prep for next week - and I feel that this will help calm the nerves a tad.
It's strange to think that a year ago I was embarking on this new whacky opt-out, mid-life crisis lifestyle of mine....It's been quite a year with friendships coming to an end (some quite dramatically - and people wonder why I love opera!) and a few illnesses along the way, some good times and some bad times and just some times....... as a person I'm more content in what I am doing and whilst I will bemoan the fact that I only got 72 instead of the idealised 84 I will try to appreciate the work that I do do and let that teach me where I can go and how I can progress. This is fairly much my life philosophy and the music and cake sustain me in this.
Apple crumble and Birds yellow custard is the food of the day - apples freshly picked (or just fallen) off the tree, crumble (already made and sitting in a box in the freezer) and custard in a sliceable form. For the un-initiated custard, in our household, comes in various forms - the really pale, runny, skinny, nerdy type of custard to the really thick, unctuous, bright yellow, here I am and you're going to love me, happy sliceable kind......today is definitely a day for the latter. Enjoy as I'm off to make my coffee (Monsooned Malabar - yumm!).
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